Week 7: Is this thing on?

My week was a little like trying to find the perfect spot for a tv antenna, moving it around until the picture stayed clear. Or like holding an earbud cord at just the right angle, so both sides worked. Or like when you’re testing a mic, 1 2 3, and keep getting static or sharp spikes of noise.

You get the point, more on that later.

Work update

Besides the aspect of insufficient emotional and mental communication, it was a pretty good week. I was able to remedy some slip-ups from a week or so ago, land some planes from the past month, and gain some traction in the customer support side of my role.

A few highlights:

• Lot’s of lesson review! (I know our material better now)
• Recording and editing video material
• Big steps for Lessonbee in the distribution area
• Customer interaction
• Shipping content (emails and follow up)

My role is multifaceted, and I love that.

Personal update

I’m coming out of an intense wrestling match with my idealist side and my realist side.

The idealist in me (very strong, due to my potent INFJ-ness) tells me that things could be better, and therefore I shouldn’t be content or settled. It tells me to reach for new heights and fight for improvement, improvement, improvement. It encourages me to strive for dreams and goals.

The realist in me (very strong, due to my life experiences) tells me to give myself a break and that it’s okay if things aren’t perfect or picturesque 24/7. It’s okay if things aren’t exactly as you wish they were—You’ve still accomplished a lot and have so much to be grateful for. It encourages me to make the best of the situation at hand.

These are both qualities that I cherish in myself, but when put head to head as they have been, it creates a perfect brew for malfunction. It has me looking inward, trying to pull them apart, yell through a megaphone (“Hey! Is this thing on???”) and cut through the battle with reason and responsibility.

I’ve realized, as I’ve succeeded (and failed) at straightening out the two tendencies over the years, that this usually means I’m in the right place.

That sounds asinine, I’m sure. But it’s true. When I feel that fight pick up, I know I’m about to grow more than I ever have. I’m about to learn something important about myself.

Can you relate? Do you recognize this tug-of-war or a similar one inside yourself?

As always, thank you for reading!