Every action has an opposite and equal reaction. An object in motion stays in motion. What you think about your circumstances matters more than the circumstances themselves. You become what you tell yourself you are.
All of these sayings are powerful not because they’re catchy, but because they are true. Every choice we make opens and closes different doors. When we start moving, we generally keep that momentum until something stops us. When we think positively about our circumstances, our circumstances improve. Not because they are different but because we are different.
When we tell ourselves we’re capable and confident and strong, we are more likely to rise to those titles, just like if we told ourselves we’re incapable and afraid and weak. The same principle applies.
Why am I writing about this today?
Well, to be frank, it’s because I am not always that good at following any of those tried and true mantras. Sometimes I lose my momentum, and it’s hard to pick it up again. Sometimes, no action feels the safest choice. But even taking no action is a choice that has consequences.
There is no safe way to lead a life full of meaning.
So often I catch myself trying to remove the difficult parts of my days, or dread them for hours beforehand. But without the challenge of accomplishing things I never believed I was capable of doing—even if it is something as simple as learning new software—I become smaller. I minimize my capabilities in the pursuit of comfort.
That, my friends, is a dangerous place to be.
The truth is, we become capable in the act of doing, not before. The capability comes with the experience.
It sounds like the most obvious thing in the world when you spell it out like that, but in reality, I often convince myself I’m not ready for things under the excuse of not having enough experience.
Doesn’t that sound crazy? To expect to be ready for something you’ve never done before? How can you possibly know you’re capable or incapable of something unless you’ve tried?
Expertise is simply repetition to the point of intimate familiarity.
Once you do something consistently, it becomes routine. The things that once intimidated you are now second nature.
I have experienced this again and again, and still, I find myself hesitating in the jail cell of impostor syndrome, or “not ready.”
You don’t become ready by doing nothing or waiting for the perfect time. You become ready by doing.
But the other important part of this truth is you kind of have to know what it is you want to do.
And when you’re not sure, the answer is generally yes—to everything and anything that sparks even the tiniest flame of curiosity and interest.
The more you explore, the more you’ll discover, and it may not be what or where you expect.
There are a lot of firsts coming up in my life this next year, some even sooner. Some things I feel more prepared for than others. But nearly every time I’ve tackled a new thing, I have come out the other side stronger, more confident, and more competent, regardless of how prepared I felt beforehand.
I was terrified to learn how to drive. Now the freeway barely bothers me. I was petrified to share my writing. Now I do that almost every day in one form or another. I was struck with a near-overwhelming bout of nerves when moving to New York—I survived and, at times, even thrived. The intimidation of speaking in front of groups of people used to almost incapacitate me. Now I hardly blink. I could go on and on.
Every obstacle, every hardship, every moment of fear and hand-trembling-near-disaster has proven to be entirely manageable. I have proven to be capable of almost everything I’ve at one point or another believed I was incapable of doing.
Because I did it afraid, before I felt ready, when all I wanted to do was hide. That’s the price of growth sometimes. Most times, really, if I’m honest.
What have you been stopping yourself from trying because you feel like you’re not ready? It may be time to go ahead and give it a try anyway.
Thank you for reading.