Guess whose prefrontal cortex is now fully developed?? That’s right, this gal. I gotta say I do not feel any different as of yet, but it thrills me to know my decision-making skills are getting an upgrade.
Not only that, my driver’s license will finally be horizontal, and they no longer have to call an extra person to the checkout line at Total Wine. Small wins!
But anyway, regarding 24, she really had a lot going on. Her world changed drastically for the better, though those changes were not without their trials.
24, dear 24, thank you for everything. You gave me the best gift ever, and I’ll never forget you. Here are 24 lessons I learned at 24 (mostly).
General Growth
1. Don’t be too rigid about where you get your inspiration
I so often wish inspiration would strike me in symbolic or classic ways. A rainy walk, a beautiful song, right when I’m about to lose all hope and then a butterfly lands on my finger, and suddenly everything makes sense…
And sure, sometimes that happens.
But most times it’s just when you’re pouring cereal. Or reading the news. Or someone says something annoying and it inspires an entire new plot line in a project. Or maybe you get a prong of inspiration during a super embarrassing moment, and you know right then you’ll never breathe a word of where or when your idea came from to any living soul.
But that’s not the point. Inspiration can come from absolutely anywhere. This year I stopped trying to curate the perfect settings for inspiration and just took it as it came, from wherever it wished to come from.
2. Trust your gut—seriously, just…trust your instincts
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: intuition is there for a reason. If something is not sitting right, it probably isn’t right. Of course, it’s important to review where the feeling is coming from both literally and figuratively. I’ve noticed that if it’s in my chest, it’s probably overthinking and anxiety. If it’s my gut, however…probably best to tune in right quick and listen closely.
3. If someone is committed to misunderstanding you or thinking the worst of you, let them be
The urge to over-explain and fall all over myself to get my point or perspective across is a strong one. The problem is that if someone has already decided what they want to think about me, and are committed to looking for problems, almost nothing you do or say can change that.
Sure, there are exceptions. If both parties can get to the right head space to unpack the subtext and search for a resolution, there can be growth and maybe you can even move past it.
But unfortunately, that is not always the case. Why? Because building stories about people is addictive, especially the ones we tell ourselves about others. It’s addictive, but also natural.
Because of this risk, I try my absolute hardest to tell myself positive stories about people around me and give them the benefit of the doubt.
That does not always guarantee the same courtesy in return, and that is where you just have to let them think what they want because they’re going to anyway.
4. Sometimes going back to the basics is the best thing you can do
Ugh, so annoying, right? How dare all of those cliché pieces of advice actually work when you do them consistently?
Exercising? It does make my stress levels go down, shoot. Eating properly? OH MY gosh, yes. It DOES give me so much more energy and makes me feel less scattered. Staying away from screens before bed? Gee, it does help me sleep better…dammit.
Our routines are meant to work with us, not against us. The more we press into systems that aren’t actually working the more we dig ourselves into a hole of discontent and stress.
Sometimes the best thing to do is pause, re-calibrate, and start with the basics.
5. Not drinking coffee on an empty stomach makes way more of a difference than anticipated
For real? Starting the day with something savory and full of protein and THEN having a sweet treat with a cup of coffee almost without fail sets me up for a better day than going straight to sugar and caffeine. Gee, who would have thought….(almost any nutritionist you ask).
6. It’s much trickier to maintain friendships when in a relationship than I anticipated
I had heard about this, but I didn’t expect it to hit so hard. The thing with being in love with your best friend is that it becomes so easy to just hang out with them all of the time.
But y’all, that ain’t healthy. I should never rely on one person to fulfill every emotional and relational need I have. Gal pals are just as important to nurture and invest in, and I’m still trying to find a good balance for that.
Any friends reading this hit me up—I promise I don’t dislike you, I just fell in love.
7. I get to marry the love of my life and my best friend and no one ever could have convinced me that was possible in real life until now
I never saw him coming. I struggle to write about it, to be honest, because it feels so precious and ours. But I did write a small verse last year that sums things up:
The poems that came easy turned out to be untrue
Every word a dreamer’s guilt disappearing with the dew
Yet every line had seemed to burn with honest heartfelt heat
The falsest sense of dear-found love that made all things complete
With you it seems I’m lost for words
I can’t seem to write a line
I start and stop and start again
My heart beats keeping time
The truth is so much sweeter
Then a simple rhyme
8. This moment is the dream! Make time to celebrate the now
I’ve written about being too future-focused before, but wowza, that took on a whole other nature once a few blank spots filled in. Now that I had a face and a name for who my life partner would be, it was like my planning genes kicked into overdrive.
I had to make a conscious effort to slow down, look around, and realize I have everything I’ve ever wanted right here, right now, and everything else can wait for its time.
Everything I have now is what I’ve hoped for, prayed for, worked for—almost to the T.
Why would I want to rush that? This is the dream.
Lifestyle Lightbulbs
9. Just make the appointment
It’s not worth the stress of wondering if that pain is serious or not, just make the appointment and rule out serious issues. Stress is the real killer out here smh.
10. I crave a slow life
You know, after rushing around for so long career-wise and in general, nothing speaks to me more than the idea of living slowly. Cooking meals from scratch, trying new recipes, gardening, painting landscapes, DIY projects, long walks, sipping coffee with a book, writing whatever I want while also still writing and editing for work—so much of the time people seem to be in such a hurry, but I really can’t be bothered to care.
Turns out the “boss babe” life can look like whatever I want it to, and it doesn’t have to happen in a flashy, fast-paced city in a cramped apartment.
11. Baking bread is not that hard!
I gave up on the sourdough (for now) but my fiancé taught me how to make a basic loaf of bread that is so delicious and easy I wonder why I haven’t been baking bread for always. Creating things with my hands gives me so much joy, especially when I can share it with others.
12. Cycle syncing is a game-changer
Who knew that what you eat can support the different phases of your menstrual cycle? Now that I know exactly what’s happening throughout the month, I can better plan for meals, activities, and pretty much anything and I have noticed so much of a difference. Highly recommend, ladies.
13. Just plant the seed! Believe in tomorrow!
I read somewhere that planting a seed is to believe in tomorrow, and I love that. This year I’m planting literal seeds, but it can be anything that takes time to bear fruit. Having patience and hope for tomorrow can do wonders for moving forward while still enjoying the now.
14. Accessibility/removing obstacles = easier habit forming and maintenance
The easier we make it to choose a healthy habit the easier it is to maintain it. I’ve found that if (and to be fair I learned this years ago, not only at 24, but still) I set myself up to make good choices, my habits reflect that. From getting dressed right in the morning to meal prepping to never putting my phone on top of any book (notebook or otherwise), the fewer obstacles between me and a healthy choice the more likely I am to choose it.
This is not rocket science, but it sure does make a difference.
15. I’m going to do it anyway
Maybe I have what it takes to do everything I want to achieve or maybe I don’t, but I’m going to do it anyway. Maybe I have the writing abilities to pull off my ambitions, or maybe I don’t—I’m going to do it anyway.
Maybe some people think I’m not good enough or too sappy or any number of things, but you know what? I’m going to do it anyway. I’m going to build the career and life I want and it’s not going to be easy but I’m going to do it anyway.
16. I’m ready for what’s next
The five-year itch is real. I’m ready to take on new projects, new topics, and develop new skills. I’m ready for the next season of my life and whatever it brings! The page is turning!
Miscellaneous Micro-Discoveries
17. How to measure wood properly
Okay, this one is funny to me because it really never occurred to me there were wrong and right ways to measure something, but boy, are there. Now I know you’re supposed to draw a little v pointing to the right spot on the tape measure and then draw the line from there, and that makes everything way clearer. Comes in more handy than you’d think!
18. Kayaking is not that hard (but would have been easier if we weren’t slowly sinking the whole time…)
A tandem kayak is either a great bonding exercise or a death sentence to a relationship. Folks, there were some iffy points, but we made it. And, once we finally pulled that sucker back to shore, we discovered we had forgotten to plug the drainage port…meaning the reason it got harder the longer we were out there was because the kayak (a durable but inflatable one) was slowly filling with water.
But by golly we made it!!
19. Sometimes the best thing to do in times of stress is to bake something
I mean this sincerely and without irony. When life feels like too much or it seems like everyone around you secretly thinks you’re stupid or annoying or whatever, sometimes all you can do is pull out the flour and bake a pastry.
Everything may still feel not the best but at least you’ll have a dessert.
20. Anne of Green Gables restored my whimsy
Oh my word, thank you, Anne, for reminding me, once again, that the world is a beautiful place if we pay attention. Imagination is not only for children and it’s okay to love even the smallest patch of moss on the trail.
21. NEVER underestimate fruit flies
I will refrain from recounting the horrors of the Great Fruit Fly War of September 2024 again, but rest assured…it will live on in infamy. If you see even one fruit fly ever in your home, kill it on sight. Kill. On. Sight.
22. You don’t have to spend a lot to dress well
You can dress almost any outfit up or down with a few simple tweaks and no headaches, nearly doubling your wardrobe and saving money at the same time (technically learned this a while ago but whatever).
I like to dress well and with intention, but I don’t like dropping dollars on expensive clothing often. That means getting creative. You can change the vibe of almost any basic outfit by changing the shoes, belt, and coat on a sliding scale from formal to casual.
And if you want to simplify it even further, all you have to do is match your belt and shoes and match your metals. Voila, you’re suddenly wearing an outfit instead of just clothes.
23. I can drive a truck, kind of!
Y’all it was not my favorite. But I drove a rather large Ford truck for like six hours straight and no one perished. Something that was endlessly foreboding even a year or so ago. Have I driven it since said six-hour stint? No. But I still count it a win.
24. Road-tripping as a couple is exceptionally fun
The long winding conversations that go everywhere and nowhere? The curated playlists? The BANTER? Please, it doesn’t get better than that. Gas station stops, snack runs, hot chocolate from Loves (which, by the way, is delicious), and of course finally getting to your destination and collapsing into a hotel or tent together, and then exploring new places, your hand in theirs, feeling like anything is possible.
I wouldn’t want to say “Oh my gosh, look at the sky!!!” a million times with anyone else, and I feel so blessed to have the road trip partner I do.
And that wraps up 24. 25, I already know you’re going to blow me out of the water, so bring it on. Let’s make it happen.
Thank you for reading if you made it this far. Sheesh, it’s almost like these posts get longer every year…thankfully. Lol.